i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
