So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Randomize
