R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
