fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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