im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
