Where is the hickey?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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