we have officially lost it.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
