when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
