Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
