At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
