Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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