biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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