i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
