Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
