she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
