so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
