the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
