I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
