hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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