am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
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