is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Randomize
