I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
