As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
im on a boat
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