Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
