toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Will you blow on my dice?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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