Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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