make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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