I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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