he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
