dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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