suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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