omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
