How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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