I think I died a long time ago.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
