Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
