No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
