you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
