Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
