Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
