he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
