Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
