we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
