I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i think my cat just said my name.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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