worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
