We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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