Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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