Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my being single is dangerous.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
