I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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