It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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