Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
