she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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